Reviews by ellisk

Where She Cannot Watch · Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:11 pm

Great job. This is a really creative idea for the food challenge. I liked it. Good Gollum.

Faerie Blood · Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:45 pm

Very sweet. I loved the animals and the little pixie and I thought it was dear that the hobbit was Pippen. Nice job.

Once in a Fair Green Country... · Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:39 pm

Great chapter. I liked the canon that you wove into it. I'm glad to see your muse is happy again.

Daeron's Lament · Sun Mar 20, 2005 10:03 am

Now this is an interesting angle that I had never thought of--how Daeron would have felt, not about losing his love, but about his involvement in the loss of Luthien to her people. Very clever. I liked it.

The Trees Remember · Sun Mar 13, 2005 11:16 am

You have me absolutely fascinated with Elennath's (sp? sorry, I can't spell my on OC's names without my beta's help Smile smiley face

) past and the identity of Hitler and Mussulini (sp? not modern history major either). This story is just great. I love the pacing--the way you are unveiling these mysteries slowly. And I love your OC. She just fascinates me, as I said. Great job.

Grey Havens · Sun Mar 13, 2005 7:48 am

Yes, I remember this one too and the scene in this chapter posted was an inspiration for me in one of the chapters of the new First Age story I'm playing with. I loved this one and I wondered what happened to it. Definitely looking forward to it. Please continue to feed your muse. Smile smiley face

Purity · Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:06 am

I think the story so far is good. I think the use of dialogue from the movies is done for the purpose of focusing on certain characters' perspectives of those scenes--to aid in the characterization of people who will be central to the story as it moves along. If that is the case, focus on those characters' introspections could be even more strongly done without hurting the chapter or slowing it down too much. I think a female/not Eowyn view of Rohan will be very interesting. And of course the promised Legomance is something I will enjoy. I'm looking forward to see how this develops.

The Blood Flower · Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:06 pm

I think the author has a good start here. This angsty type of story can be very popular. And the description that is written is nice. But there are a few things that you could do to make it better. First, think about sentence variety. For example, you have a number of sentences that start "Her..." Try combining some of them to make a more complex, less repetitive sequence. You could do the same with the "But she..." sentences. And make all the sections paragraphs, not series of sentences. You will want to check the spelling of certain canon terms (Uruk-hai, for example.) And generally speaking, statements like "You murdered my family" are much more interesting if the reader knows more about the backstory. You could lengthen this and include a flashback perhaps. These are just thoughts that hopefully will help you expand on this story and help you with others.

Fell Beast II · Wed Mar 02, 2005 2:55 pm

Ok, I was chuckling along at the image of the Witch King walking Fluffy, giggling at lines like, "...had now given way to irritating baritone squawks," and then I reached: "All the while the Witch King sighed and wondered what would be the best sauce to cook it in." That's as far as I got before cracking up entirely. And then the Witch King tossing it in the sewer and then having to go find it! You are sick. Loved the ending.

Flower of the Horselords · Wed Mar 02, 2005 1:45 pm

Sorry I didn't review this yesterday...I hurt my back and I'm typing with the laptop perched on my stomach Confused smiley face

This is wonderful Eruanna. I like the language and the dialogue quite a bit. And I like how you give thought to the canon/AU aspects of it. I like an AU story when it does that well and you have. Good job so far and I'll write more when I can do it better.

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Reviews by ellisk