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Of Trees and Frogs (G)
by Avaril.
Chapters [1]
Reviews [ 5] Warnings [None]
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Fri Jan 14, 2005 3:10 pm
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I love the rewrite. It works so well now. As I said in my PM, the idea behind the story was really good, and this new version is very sweet.  There is one bit, about a 'bored king on a summer day' or thereabouts. I think that's left over from the original version of the story, but Nancy is right; technically Elrond isn't a king Once again though, I think this is a very cute story and I do like the image of Galadriel as a granny  |
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Last edited by SpaceWeavil on Fri Jan 14, 2005 3:14 pm |
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Of Pregnant Queens, and Fathers to Be (PG)
by Frigg.
Chapters [1]
Reviews [ 8] Warnings [A screaming woman!]
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Thu Jan 13, 2005 6:21 pm
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| Really have to echo what the other reviewers have said. Loved the portrayal of Eomer, and that more tender side of his character. |
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Can you hear... (G)
by SecretKeeper.
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Thu Jan 13, 2005 6:17 pm
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| Very nice. I don't usually read much blank verse, but this has a wonderfully lyrical quality, and the interesting structure, interspersing your lines of 'dialogue' throughout made it very interesting to read. Kudos |
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The Last Flower (G)
by Dragon.
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Thu Jan 13, 2005 6:15 pm
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| Excellent description, and I loved Galadriel's final 'summing up' of the situation. A nicely pictured moment. |
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The Trees Remember (R)
by VanatheEverYoung.
Chapters [37]
Reviews [ 101] Warnings [Holocaust ref.; violence; sexual situations]
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Thu Jan 13, 2005 11:36 am
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You've certainly ended chapter 6 on a cliffhanger I know how hard it can be in a fic when you have a lot of technical or historical information to get across to your readers. So far (and certainly in this chapter) you've kept it, IMO, quite concise and the little bits of dialogue in between kept it from being just a whole load of exposition for me as I was reading. It's certainly an interesting story, but then I've said that before  Personally, I'd maybe like to see Elaneth's character come out a bit stronger, so that she's not just passing on information, if you know what I mean. We saw a bit of it in the scene with Haldir and the dress, that kind of deadpan humour. It's just my opinion, which by all means ignore, but I just felt in the last chapter she was just really reciting facts. I don't mean it was boring or anything like that, don't get me wrong and it didn't stop me enjoying the story, but you did say you wanted constructive criticism  ops:
Seriously, though this is such an imaginative and interesting fic. I cannot wait until the next chapter. This is one of the most exciting stories I've read in a while. |
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Making a Fuss (G)
by MeldewenIlce.
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Wed Jan 12, 2005 1:52 pm
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| Nice story. The beginning in particular was very atmospheric. Also the image of Bilbo out there wandering about somewhere was very nice. Good job. |
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Where Honor Is Due (G)
by MeldewenIlce.
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Wed Jan 12, 2005 1:48 pm
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| Quite a nice, concise story. The last paragraph in particular was very moving. |
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Haldir's First Love (NC-17)
by LoriAnne.
Chapters [10]
Reviews [ 4] Warnings [OFC describes her rape in ch6 -- also graphic sex]
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Tue Jan 11, 2005 3:36 pm
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First of all, welcome to OSA 
Your story seems very interesting so far and I've been reading throughout the day as you've updated to see what happens. The idea of two people being almost as close as siblings and that getting in the way of their real feelings is an interesting one, and I'm looking forward to see how you resolve it with your character and Haldir. I'm also keen to see how the relationship with the other brothers develops now that they're older.
My only thing I would suggest is that using the present tense throughout the story might be a bit off-putting. I found it a little difficult to read because of this, as it's something I don't particularly like. That might just be me, but I much prefer traditional past tense narrative, unless the use of present tense is to achieve some 'special effect' within the story. An idea maybe, if you're quite new to fanfic (as I read in your profile) is that we have here on OSA a beta-reading forum, where you can find people who can check over your ficbefore you post, and give an opinion on stuff like that, as well as picking up any spelling / grammar errors. Everyone here is very supportive and usually you get a response within 24 hours of posting there. I'm not saying this because I think you're a bad writer. Quite the opposite, in fact. From what you've written so far, it's obvious you have talent.
Please don't be discouraged by any of this. I'm not trying to be nasty or anything. Your story really is interesting and I do hope you continue to post here at OSA. If you want to ask me anything about these comments, feel free to send a private message through the site's system |
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Child of Aulë (G)
by MeldewenIlce.
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Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:39 pm
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| Nice little scene, and glad to see Galadriel made Gimli feel welcome. I was starting to feel very sorry for him There are a few technical errors throughout the story, but I shall send a note by PM rather than going on about it here, as that would probably be more helpful. But you seem to be a very prolific writer from the number of stories you have here on OSA already, so well done, and definitely this one is an enjoyable read, and describes a scene I had wondered about. |
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The Last Arrow in the Quiver (PG)
by simon22cat.
Chapters [1]
Reviews [ 4] Warnings [Battle Scene]
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Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:28 pm
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| I will admit it took two readings of this before I clicked who the protagonist was in the first section, but it was an enjoyable feeling when I finally did work it out. I misread the final paragraph to start with and thought you had been talking about Legolas, but now I see that it's much cleverer than that. So I found the ending a very unexpected and enjoyable twist. Well done on that. |
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