Reviews by Viv

Forgotten Allies · Sat Nov 20, 2004 1:07 pm

This is the comment I left for this story at the MEFAwards: This is not the first time I've read this story, of course, but every time I re-read it, I'm struck overwhelmingly by the professionalism and fluidity of the writing. Truly, this story could be printed and sold. Setting, movement, plot, and characterisation are all right on. I think the thing that sets this story apart from so much LoTRfic, however, is the sleek dialogue. JMac has mastered that show-not-tell writing proverb and woven a compelling tale that never gets bogged down in overdescription or verbose language. So, on a stylistic basis alone, the story shines. But then there's Elrohir. Wow, just wow. I know some readers might be creeped by that piece of the plot, but I found it incredibly touching and a true what-if exploration of what it is to be an elf. Never in this story did I make the mistake of believing that elves were simply very pretty humans. JMac has set them apart, made them magical ... and made them tragic. I think Tolkien would like that.

Last Hope · Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:56 pm

I've been reading Tolkien fanfiction for a long time, and I've read some good pieces. But it always wallops me to read something like this, a hidden, even secret, treasure. I saw it listed on Sindhote's recommendations list and thought, well, why not. I'm so glad. This story, more than any other, has given Gilraen a voice. Her eyes seeing Rivendell *make* it a magical place; her heart seeing Elrond and his sons make Elrond's relationship with Estel even more keenly bittersweet. Estel truly is the hope for all, not just his own people. And throughout, the sense of sacrifice on Gilraen's part pervaded. She did indeed give so much hope that she kept none for herself. What a heroine. And what a story, to have captured her essence so beautifully. Thank you.

Galad a Dúath (Light and Shadow) · Thu Nov 11, 2004 4:45 pm

First, excellent use of verbs! Dialogue was also lovely, adding to a comfortable pacing... except for those pesky dream sequences. They were long and bulky and static, really interferring with the flow of the story. I don't have a suggestion for fixing them right now, but it's something to be aware of. Other than that, you have an intriguing story going here.

One Word · Sat Nov 06, 2004 1:31 pm

Okay, done. Smile smiley face

The story itself is swift, untangling the tangles almost immediately. I kind of liked that, not having to wait for the mysteries to sort themselves out. And the peek inside the workings of the Valar during all that Feanorian mess was very interesting. I enjoyed the alternate explanation for Thranduil's and Cirdan's presence in Middle-earth and am anticipating reading more stories of yours that employ this backstory.

One Word · Sat Nov 06, 2004 1:01 pm

I've only read the Prologue, but I certainly plan to read the rest of it shortly. The intro sets the stage for some very compelling characterization. Your parallel technique flowed beautifully, making this seem more an epic poem than a piece of prose. That, of course, is very appropriate for Tolkien. Great start!

Fairy Lights and Fireflies · Fri Oct 22, 2004 4:22 pm

Mechanically, this vignette is very well put together, which is refreshing and lovely in fanfic. Smile smiley face

I also thought your elfling Arwen was charming. Thank you for making her speech patterns so adult-like, which is appropriate even for very young elves. Yay! On the down side, I didn't find Faye a very interesting character for this world. In fact, there wasn't much of Middle-earth in this story at all, just some character and place names that were familiar. Have you considered changing the names and writing this as an original fantasy piece? I think it could work.

Shadows of the Past · Thu Oct 21, 2004 3:40 pm

Well, this is a softer side of Eomer-king. "I am a great hero, but that does not change the fact that I feel truly bad about the killing." ... I had to double-back and make sure that wasn't Faramir slipping into this scene (where he had no business being!). Wink smiley face

Honestly, I do like your take on Eomer's inner thoughts, and how clever of you to portray that interior characterization not through his own eyes (which would have been boring), but through Lothiriel's.

Oath Renewed · Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:37 pm

I'm composing an ode to this fic for the MEFA voting, but I wanted to pop in here and just let you know that I've read it and am highly impressed. Real nice stuff here. And silmfic to boot! Squee!

At Last · Sun Oct 10, 2004 10:28 pm

Holy wow! A new chapter! When did ya'll do this? What is the deal with updating on the sly? You need to announce it in a big obvious way. Because this chapter really, really needed to be read. It's thick and horrible and beautiful and grimy and exhausting and inevitable and inspiring and ... it's good. It's really good. Isobel is, too. She and all the other healers and helpers need some applause at least, or maybe just a warm bed and word that war no longer exists.

Cursed Love · Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:34 pm

That last line was fantastic "his frozen mind called for his mother." Talk about showing characterization rather than telling it! However, I think the opening paragraph was weak: some really long sentences and too many comma-ful clauses kind of chunked up the rhythm, even though you got into a lovely rhythm later in the piece. But my nitpicks are minor; I still want to give Maeglin a hug.

Login

Navigation

RSS Feeds

Reviews by Viv