Reviews by Viv

Adrift · Wed Jun 18, 2003 9:57 pm

Oh, and I meant to ask... why is this classified as AU? I think it'd fit fine in the LoTR classification. It doesn't gratuitously mess with canon. My opinion, of course; you probably have reasons. Now, if you were to make "her" Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something... Smile smiley face

Adrift · Wed Jun 18, 2003 9:32 pm

What a piece of writing. So many writers, Tolkien included, gloss over the rough parts of war. They don't tell you how nasty it smells, how it aches, how filthy and horrible it is. You have begun to do that here. Thank you. Now for the constructive part: There is a transition toward the end, where Eomer is thinking about Eowyn falling in battle. The very next paragraph discusses the unnamed She, his lover. I had a squicky moment thinking that you were saying that Eowyn and the soft lover were the same. As I read on, I realized it wasn't so. But you may want to peek at that transition again.

And the Sky Full of Stars · Wed Jun 18, 2003 6:40 pm

What a delightful story. Your writing style is exquisite, and your sense of the canon characters very true. Legolas and Gimli spoke like... well, Legolas and Gimli. There were a few deviations from canon, but I'm sure you know what they are and did them on purpose. Of course, I want to find Entville and walk in the trees there. What a glorious image. But the most impressive part of this story was the pace. Easy, soft, even during the battle scenes. Through the vast majority of the story, the whole tone was one of a fading world. At the end, the scenes in Valinor were almost too bright and giddy to read. JRR would like that difference, I think. So did I.

Of a Father and Son · Thu Jun 12, 2003 7:18 pm

Your description of the understandable hesitation between humans and elves -- especially telerin elves -- was very believable and tense. Also, thank you for explaining that Legolas was not just wounded but poisoned! I enjoyed the battle scene at the beginning, too: unlike many fic writers, you resisted just glossing over the details. Kudos. Now onto the "constructive bits" (and note that constructive criticism from me does *not* mean I didn't enjoy the story: were I given the chance, I'd edit Shakespeare himself)... If I were an editor for this story, I might suggest your picking one or two point-of-view characters and staying inside their heads. It's a little confusing to be hearing Thranduil's thoughts then in the very next paragraph to be inside Letha's head. It doesn't detract from the story much, but it's something an editor would pick up on. Also, be careful of verbs: you use "to be" in all its many forms somewhat frequently. Other than that, you have a very charming fic going here. I an enoying it thoroughly!

Companions · Thu Jun 12, 2003 6:39 pm

This is an interesting AU, and I'm glad you were up-front about that. I understand the conflict and have an idea about events to come, so the Prologue was a success. There are some weaker spots in chapter 1, but I'll just point out two. First of all, Tolkien's female elves weren't much for fighting (with a very few notable exceptions). Yours may be different, but you should explain why and how. Let us know that it is perfectly normal for a female child to be given a sword and sent off to battle. Second, long before spending 2,000 years in slavery, a Tolkien elf would have died of grief (for an example of how little elves can withstand opression and torment, re-read the tale of Elrond's wife Celebrian). Finally, please ask someone to beta this piece for spelling and grammar. While a writer shouldn't stress too much about the technical stuff whilst she is writing, a beta to fix these little things can really make the end product more enjoyable. Thanks for posting and letting me read; I look forward to seeing future chapters. Smile smiley face

Finrod's Oath · Thu Jun 12, 2003 6:18 pm

Oh... and I forgot to mention: congratulations on the Mithril finalist slot for *this story*. I was so excited to see a story I actually recognized (and loved) up there.

Inspired · Thu Jun 12, 2003 2:19 pm

I just want to thank you kind folks for leaving reviews... I started to reply to each one individually then realized that the system was posting all of my replies as individual reviews. Eek. But really, it is wonderful to receive feedback, and especially from such talented and neato folks. Makes me want to run home right now and scribble madly. Thank-you chocolates all around!

Elrohir's Tale · Wed Jun 11, 2003 6:12 pm

Oh, I'm so glad you started posting ET here! You know I adore this story. Not because Elrohir/Elladan are my favorite characters. But because you are a magical storyteller and have just written the story I always wanted to write.

Finrod's Oath · Tue Jun 10, 2003 8:17 pm

This is poingnant, sweeping. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Finrod deserved a place in the sun, not a death in the pit. And thanks for mentioning Andreth... she is one of my favorite Tolkien characters, and you imply her story beautifully. Wonderful, and thank you for writing it.

In the Midst of Adversity · Sat Jun 07, 2003 12:54 am

I dig it dahlin'... have I mentioned that your Eowyn is loads better than JRR's? And of course, you write Gimli better than anyone I know. Magnificent. *off to take a peek at new chapter in my inbox Wink smiley face

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Reviews by Viv