Reviews by Rous

Questionable Haven · Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:20 pm

Oh, but what a surprise it will be!

Salt and Sweet · Sat Feb 18, 2006 8:21 am

I caught this on the story of the day. I know, I already commented, but I am doing so again.

The thing that really strikes me is that this is truly a drabble. Most of us write a scene or a small part of something much larger. However, as I understand a drabble, it is a whole story. And, you have managed that. This is truly exquisite. Again, thank you for sharing.

As flowing water · Sat Feb 18, 2006 8:02 am

Very nice. Other than some puctuation issues and word spellings, this was outstanding. Thank you for sharing.

What's on his mind · Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:52 am

Another nicely done. You could have left of the A/N at the beginning and this would still have been obvious by the end. LOL A great look into what made a great hobbit. Thank you for sharing.

Lookout · Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:44 am

I find this nicely written, but I must confess to some confusion as to who it is. I like it, but I just would like some illumination. Thank you for sharing.

A Balrog's Easier · Sun Feb 12, 2006 7:07 am

As improbable as it sounds, it is still quite humorous. And, I agree with Nancy, this has some great lines in it; it is also very well written. Thank you for sharing.

Immortality · Sat Feb 11, 2006 10:16 am

I like that you do not mention characters. It is much broader that way. Leave the reader to use their imagination a bit. It forces one to do more than just read. All-in-all, this is a very nice piece. Thank you for sharing.

Reminiscence · Fri Feb 10, 2006 9:25 am

Thank you, both. This is purposely non-specific. Garner from it what you will. I can tell you who it is NOT. But, other than that, it is up to you, the reader.

Aglarond · Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:54 am

I realized after I started reading this that I have read it before. It is still just as beautiful as the first time. I did note, however, that you do have a few tense issues. Also, in the line :

So I examine the thought and pass it aside with the same sense of amusement I always do.

in the second or third paragraph, I personally think that pass is not the best choice here. I believe that "set" would work better.

Otherwise, still wonderful and worth the re-reading. Contrats on the story of the day. Thank you for sharing.

A Night to Remember · Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:56 pm

This is a nice start. I did check your stats before commenting, so I know that English is your not your first language. In that light, I commend you. I would never try to write in my second language (Spanglish). I do understand some of the phrasing, now. You also seem to have quite a few typos and grammar errors. As stated by Cuthalion, you would benefit greatly from a beta. They are there to help you. I think everyone uses them, almost without exception. Even as a more "seasoned" writer, I miss a lot of things that I catch by re-reading my work. I also read it aloud to see how it sounds. Then, I have someone beta it. I am sure that you can find someone who will help you out. Well wishes. Thank you for sharing.

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Reviews by Rous