Reviews by NancyBrooke

Hunting Lessons · Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:00 am

I thought this a fabulous piece, so rich with detail and character. To give you a more detailed review would be to author something longer than the story itself!

Gaming · Fri Dec 31, 2004 9:22 am

Alassante said
> The word c*ck used is just like a huge screeching stop when you are reading something like Lord of the Rings. Unless you are talking a chicken of course. I mean I am not a prude and in modern day fan fiction - hey I am all for it but to put us in Rivendell with the elves during a beautiful passionate encounter and then with that one little word, we are thrown out of Middle Earth.
>
> But ,and I cannot say this enough, the three stories I have read and reviewed are great and you have a great talent for writing.

Hmmm ... I will read and reconsider. - NB 12/04

---------------------------

After due consideration and helpful discussion with Alassante I've decided to let the text stand as is. I wanted the least metaphorical yet not clinical term I could find and that was it. If that word offends you, reader, be advised.

Desk Job · Wed Dec 29, 2004 10:43 am

What a great bit of mischief! The (non-sexual, even) details were great; and so much up-the-sleeve humor! great.

First Night · Tue Dec 28, 2004 6:05 pm

Oooh! Lots of fun and, as Inglor commented above, great characterizations. I particularly liked that you made Lothiriel a shoot-from-the-hip kind of gal; not the usual ingenue.

You might have a Beta go over it for some punctuation and dropped word clean up; then it would be perfect!

A Yuletide Carol · Sun Dec 26, 2004 3:58 pm

A nice sweet for Christmas; a confection that lingers. I found it a little long, however; maybe I was comparing it unfairly as I read to "T'was The Night Before Christmas" which runs along at a fair clip. The different-length verses also threw me a bit.

I wonder you didn't put it in Bombadil's corner, though; no reason a story can't be told in verse.

Brr... · Sun Dec 26, 2004 3:49 pm

I can imagine many such moments when Elves must seem aloof and Men capricious, but never tought I'd see Aragorn "too dumb to come in out of the cold" Laughing smiley face

. I realize this was just a bit of fun, but I had trouble locating the scene it at first (what castle? guest room?); some filling out would've helped me get past the who, what, where and go straight to the Ha Ha Ha.

Promises to Keep · Thu Dec 23, 2004 4:17 pm

This is an excellent idea for a story, well executed. You have some lovely turns of phrase - 'thicket of spears' and 'funeral incense' (sorry, can't recall exactly). You might consider editing "phyrric:" it's so specific to Roman history it threw me out a little.

Three Arrows to a Broken Heart · Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:58 am

Congratulations on creating such an epic story; it's hard to carry through on such a large vision but you have done a good job here. It's always nice to see Boromir happy. Your language, to my ear, was a bit too modern for my taste, though, and a little more punctuation in some of your long paragraphs would give the reader a most welcome occasional rest.

A Mettarë Tale · Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:30 am

This is a sweet story. It's nice to see a care-free Eowyn.

Letter From Elladan · Tue Dec 14, 2004 5:05 pm

Excellent, Jay; not a false note anywhere. But in particular I thought the following lines were stellar, and shone out far above the rest:

"If we succeed, then Estel, little Estel, will fulfil his destiny and become the great and powerful king he was born to be – and he will be Estel no longer.

If we succeed, then Arwen, my beautiful sister, will face all the bitterness of mortality."

Fabulous. You could almost build a drabble around these alone.

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Reviews by NancyBrooke