Reviews by Viv

Distant Maiden · Thu Dec 16, 2004 4:50 pm

The sentiment and movement of this piece are both strong. It's easy to read and identify with, and through your desriptions I got a clear image of Eowyn asleep, and Faramir watching her. However, the story could use a little polish. Sometimes it drifted toward the wordy: "and wondered to think what she was dreaming of." That bit could have been said simply, "and wondered what she dreamed of." Simpler sentences often pack more emotional punch. Also beware of verb tenses... those things are slippery and sometimes shift without you even being aware of it. Has someone edited this piece? Sometimes it helps to have a second pair of eyes look at something. I wondered at the end why he did this to himself, why he searched each room until he found hers and then stared at her, when all along he believed that she loved someone else. I know it's a show of his affection and deep feeling, but it bordered on unhealthy obsession, which doesn't really gel with my image of Faramir. What if he had a real reason to be there, like checking to make sure she didn't have a fever or something?

Every Good and Perfect Gift · Wed Dec 15, 2004 11:00 am

This story is a long, soft moment, threaded with expectation. I found it kind of creepy that a father and daughter would be chatting about death on the eve of her wedding, but it all tied together so nicely at the end. Lovely and lilting. Thank you for letting me read.

Letter From Elladan · Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:02 pm

Short, poignant, with the subtle wisdom, innate poetry, and light hand that I would expect of elves. Even in its brevity, this piece is a striking example of good characterization.

So few... · Thu Dec 09, 2004 5:45 pm

Poignant and yet not weepy: good balance there. Be on the lookout for shifts in verb tense, like "My eyes searched desperately for the one face I could not see. He has to be here, he must be." That second sentence really needs to be in past tense.

Drabbles are always a challenge, and you've developed a touching one here. Kudos.

Rider of the Mark · Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:05 pm

This is about halfway between prose and poetry. I have to confess that the hectic pace confuzzled me a bit, but the refrain "sweet young thing" made me feel like being confuzzled was okay. Like songs that you listen to when you're drunk: they sometimes sound nice, even if you have no idea what they mean.

Mirkwood and Beyond · Tue Dec 07, 2004 8:39 pm

The writing style is fluid and chatty, certainly easy to become involved with. I'm a little confused about the point, though. Is this a pwp, or is there a complicated plot going on? At times, the story seemed to be setting itself up for a free-for-all shagfest (which I have no problem with), but then it frustratingly sidled away from the hoped-for "good parts" and just lapsed back into rambles. It might be good to let the readers know from the outset what to expect. I'll check back periodically and see how this story develops. Smile smiley face

A Jewel Above Rubies · Mon Nov 29, 2004 4:48 pm

I know I've read this one before... was it on ff.net? At any rate, it was still compelling on second read. Your Idril here is fantastic: strong, patient, realistic. As a writer, I might have been tempted to have Orniel allow herself to be convinced, to make some grand and generous show at the end. But you never make the easy narrative choices, which is one of the reasons your stories are all so thick and rich. You also write some of the best lines, like the one at the end here, from Idril.

Merethesgal (A Masquerade) · Fri Nov 26, 2004 9:45 pm

The actual smut was lovely, but what really impressed me was the lead-up. I was never a hundred percent sure when she figured it out, but after a while it became subtly obvious that she was playing along. And the game itself was stimulating; the dialogue was fantastic. Good stuff!

Duty's Call : Tale 3- The Glorfindel Chronicles · Mon Nov 22, 2004 5:19 pm

I loved that scene of "training," which is so perfect for a youngster. I always wondered how Aragorn acquired his mad tracking skillz. Wink smiley face

Good stuff, as usual, and especially featuring the so-lovely Golden One. hee.

Mind Games · Mon Nov 22, 2004 5:06 pm

Intriguing peek into the thoughts of a much-underused and oft-misunderstood character. I especially liked the attempt to explain that whole "Arwen's fate is tied to the ring" thing from the movie. It baffled me at the time, and I'm not sure I understand it completely now. Why did Sauron show her the sea, when he knew she could not cross it now that she was mortal? Just to taunt her? How deliciously cruel. Twisted Evil smiley face

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Reviews by Viv