Reviews by Viv

Inspired · Wed Jul 23, 2003 7:28 pm

Gaslight said
> I did notice a typo about Aragorn's chest or something. You had "if" instead of "of". I don't know if you like to correct mistakes like that? If I would have left anything out, it was the bulge through the armor. I think the jist of it could have been brought across without delving into the Iron Rod of Gondor.

Well, I looked for the "if" bit, and I couldn't find it. I guess I've just read it all so many times I've convinced myself it's right. But yes, I prefer to fix those things. And I went back and took out the, er, Iron Rod of Gondor. Shocked smiley face

I'd had some qualms about it in the beginning, but was just too lazy to resituate the dialogue. But I think the revision works okay.

Thank you very much for your helpful suggestions! This is what fic writing is all about for me (though the ego part of me adores squealy-happy reviews, of course Smile smiley face

... thank you so much everyone, for reading and feeding back!)

Aglarond · Tue Jul 22, 2003 7:59 pm

Lovely use of language, and thank you for writing from Gimli's point of view. I loved especially the metaphor of a stone forest, and Gimli's secret worry then delight when he realized that Legolas did indeed share his joy at the sight. The tense slipped into past in a couple of places, but any editor could fix that in a snap; there are no major flaws with this piece. Very nice.

Requiem · Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:48 pm

I have to admit that, as usual, I skipped the lyrics. Surprised smiley face

ops: But all the prose in between, and especially chapter 3, was endearing and melancholy. Especially your touch at the end: Boromir declaring that he will be true to himself. Fabulous piece of characterization, especially since he was talking to Faramir, who always seemed to struggle with who he was. Very very nice.

The Conversation · Tue Jul 08, 2003 8:56 pm

Eek! Parents don't have sex! Every kid knows that. But such information is insightful... in a tree, eh? And you have indelibly fixed an image in my brain: Legolas on a desk. Oh yes. (What a fun ficlet!)

What Comfort You May Find · Tue Jul 08, 2003 7:50 pm

"A hoarse cry issued from her husband as the bond between them was severed by her death." ... yes! I know that the chapter was a tragedy (and I felt the pathos, believe me), but I was also delighted by your obvious knowledge of elves. Your research and skill come across very well. And of course, a viable family history for Legolas is certainly a good premise for fic. Please write more!

A Mother's Day · Tue Jul 08, 2003 6:28 pm

Lovely. Between you and ArielArat, I am fast becoming a hobbit fan. Thanks for posting here; your writing is a joy.

Linden and Laurel · Tue Jul 08, 2003 5:55 pm

I was missing Rose's voice at the beginning. You've introduced her to me in earlier stories, and I had wanted to hear from her again. But as I read on, I became engrossed in Sam's struggle and forgot that I missed Rosie. How generous of you to bring her back, at the very end. Joyous roses, indeed. I don't think a fic has ever brought me this close to tears. Thank you, thank you.

Autumn's Requiem · Tue Jul 08, 2003 5:18 pm

Oh, and you do angst as well as you do smut. Some of those lines were just ... wow. Congratulations: this is a fine piece of writing.

Payback is Hell · Wed Jul 02, 2003 9:06 pm

This was a lot of fun. I have to admit I haven't been able to get into the Empty Vessel... first several chapters are just a little confusing. But these characters are just so amusing... I may have to go back and try again.

If I had to offer a constructive criticism, it'd be more in the way of a personal preference: song fics rarely work. Sometimes inserting lyrics works, but most times folks just skip over them, and the rhythm of the story is interrupted whilst they skip. I think the kinky sex here would be just fine without the song lyrics.

But all in all: real nice. Thanks for providing smut inspiration for the evening. And can I borrow Rumil? I have a thing or two for him to sketch Wink smiley face

The virtues of reading the books · Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:29 pm

Yes, yes, and yes. Can I kiss you now (being merely human, my hroa instincts dominate)? Smile smiley face

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Reviews by Viv